AttachmentParentingisnot"afraidoftears"parenting.Ourkidscry.Thedifferenceisthatweunderstandthattantrumsandtearscomefromemotionsandnotmanipulation.Andourchildrenunderstandthistoo.Theycryandhavetantrumssometimes,ofcourse.Buttheydothisbecausetheiremotionsaresooverwhelmingthattheyneedtogetitout.Theydonotexpecttobe"rewarded"fortheirstrongnegativeemotions;theysimplyexpectthatwewilllisten.Wepickupourbabieswhentheycry,andwerespondtothetearsofourolderchildrenbecausewebelievefirmlythatcomfortisfree,loveisfree,andthatwhenachildhasneedforcomfortandlove,itisourjobtoprovidethosethings.Wearenotafraidoftears.Wedon'tavoidthem.Weholdourchildrenthroughthemandteachthemthatwhentheyarehurtorfrustratedweareheretocomfortthemandhelpthemworkthroughtheiremotions.49.Accordingtotheauthor,whatshouldparentsdowhentheirkidscry?